"A few years ago I sat across from a woman who told me she doesn’t go to church on Mother’s Day because it is too hurtful. I’m not a mother, but I had never seen the day as hurtful. She had been married, had numerous miscarriages, divorced and was beyond child bearing years. It was like salt in mostly healed wounds to go to church on that day. This made me sad, but I understood.
"Fast forward several years to Mother’s Day. A pastor asked all mothers to stand. On my immediate right, my mother stood and on my immediate left, a dear friend stood. I, a woman in her late 30s, sat. I don’t know how others saw me, but I felt dehumanized, gutted as a woman. Real women stood, empty shells sat. I do not normally feel this way. I do not like feeling this way. I want no woman to ever feel this way in church again.
"Last year a friend from the States happened to visit on Mother’s Day and again the pastor (a different one) asked all mothers to stand. As a mother, she stood and I whispered to her, “I can’t take it, I’m standing.” She knows I’m not a mother yet she understood my standing / lie.
"Here’s the thing, I believe we can honor mothers without alienating others. I want women to feel welcome, appreciated, seen, and needed here in our little neck of the body of Christ.
- Do away with the standing. You mean well, but it’s just awkward. Does the woman who had a miscarriage stand? Does the mom whose children ran away stand? Does the single woman who is pregnant stand?
3. Commend mothering for the ways it reflects the Image of God by bringing forth new life, nurturing those on her path, and living with the tension of providing both freedom and a safety net."
- To those who gave birth this year to their first child—we celebrate with you
- To those who lost a child this year – we mourn with you
- To those who are in the trenches with little ones every day and wear the badge of food stains – we appreciate you
- To those who experienced loss through miscarriage, failed adoptions, or running away—we mourn with you
- To those who walk the hard path of infertility, fraught with pokes, prods, tears, and disappointment – we walk with you. Forgive us when we say foolish things. We don’t mean to make this harder than it is.
- To those who are foster moms, mentor moms, and spiritual moms – we need you
- To those who have warm and close relationships with your children – we celebrate with you
- To those who have disappointment, heart ache, and distance with your children – we sit with you
- To those who lost their mothers this year – we grieve with you
- To those who experienced abuse at the hands of your own mother – we acknowledge your experience
- To those who lived through driving tests, medical tests, and the overall testing of motherhood – we are better for having you in our midst
- To those who have aborted children – we remember them and you on this day
- To those who are single and long to be married and mothering your own children – we mourn that life has not turned out the way you longed for it to be
- To those who step-parent – we walk with you on these complex paths
- To those who envisioned lavishing love on grandchildren -yet that dream is not to be, we grieve with you
- To those who will have emptier nests in the upcoming year – we grieve and rejoice with you
- To those who placed children up for adoption — we commend you for your selflessness and remember how you hold that child in your heart
"This Mother’s Day, we walk with you. Mothering is not for the faint of heart and we have real warriors in our midst. We remember you.
- And to those who are pregnant with new life, both expected and surprising –we anticipate with you
(Taken from Amy from The Messy Middle)
First, I would like to express my love and appreciation to my Mother and all other Mother's who have touched my life. Thank you. Mom, you have taught me all I know and for that I am grateful. Your special touch in our home truly made it a wonderful experience. I know it wasn't always easy but you never gave up on us children and you always looked forward with faith. I only hope that I can take what I learned and act with the same faith that you have to better my little growing family. Unlike others who say "I can't believe I'm turning in my my Mom," I embrace it and hope that I do turn into a shadow of you. You are marvelous and I love you!
Second, to my friends who have experienced loss of any kind, who are unable to have children or are single, I love you. You are the strongest women I know. I have learned so much by your example and you ARE Mother's in a very special way. I admire your strength and your perseverance to keep going when times are tough. It's remarkable how much strength you have. You have touched my life and I want to thank you for that.
Third, for my little buttercup, my early loss and for any other children I may have... I love you. You have brought light into mine and David's life that otherwise wouldn't be there. I stress myself out every day knowing that I will be raising you and I don't want to let you down. You deserve the world. I promise that I will teach you everything I know, especially that of the Gospel and how wonderful your Father in Heaven and your brother, Jesus Christ, is. I promise that I will love you even when my patience is thin or when times get tough, just promise to be patient with me too. I'm still learning.
Happy Mother's Day.
